


I Ain't Got Many People Left To Talk To

by fourfreedoms



Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-17
Updated: 2011-07-17
Packaged: 2017-10-21 11:38:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/224752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fourfreedoms/pseuds/fourfreedoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray makes Brad a match.com account.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Ain't Got Many People Left To Talk To

**Author's Note:**

  * For [setissma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/setissma/gifts).



Ray sets him up with a match.com account for April Fools. According to his profile, his name is Brigita, he lives in Malibu, he enjoys margaritas *with* sALt, NCAA basketball players, and the AwEsOmE 80s band The Outfield. The picture shows an undeniably hot woman lounging in a white sundress in a hammock. Brad figures when he opens his e-mail on April 1st at 9:15 AM and finds 62 responses, that Ray found it in a Victoria’s Secret catalogue.

That is until he gets a very angry e-mail from n.fick@dartmouth.edu titled “WTF?” Brad picks up the phone and punches in Ray’s number. It rings a few times and then Ray picks up with a jubilant, “Hey!” clearly assured that he got Brad better than Brad got him.

“Where did you get that picture, Ray?”

“The internet, dude! That chick is hot! I wanna spread her over waffles.”

“Ray,” Brad says, keeping his temper in check, “did you steal it off somebody’s facebook?”

Ray coughs and doesn’t reply. Brad growls. “I just got an e-mail addressed ‘Dear Unstable and Delusional Person’ by an N. Fick complaining about how I used his sister’s picture to misrepresent myself as ‘a horny morally bankrupt barfly’s wet dream.’”

Ray cracks up. “Yeah, yeah, morally bankrupt, my ass. He’s obviously on the site.”

“According to the e-mail he was ‘shocked’ to discover his roommate e-mailing his sister on a dating site ‘obviously intended for sexual incompetents who couldn’t comprehend how easy it is to fabricate an entirely specious life history on the internet.’”

“Okay, so, maybe he’s not on the site.”

“Ray, I just had to explain to a little ivy league bitch that I’m actually a 25-year-old male getting my doctorate at Caltech who was pranked by his own former college roommate.”

“If you wanted him to believe you, I might’ve left that Caltech bit out.”

“You are such a toolbox,” Brad replies. “But that’s okay, I just deleted your facebook account. Good luck re-friending those 1,213 contacts.”

“What?” He hears Ray clatter around on the other end of the line, probably running to his laptop. “NO! BRAD! WHY? NOT MY FACEBOOK!”

Brad laughs long and hard. He hangs up still chuckling. An e-mail pops up in his inbox.

_Oh,  
I hope you will forgive me for my somewhat enraged electronic rant. Mea culpa. I noticed that you took the profile down. Thank you. I will inform my sister to place tighter control over her facebook pictures._

_I appreciate it,  
Nate_

_PS. Caltech? Awesome! What are you studying?_


End file.
